On DnD and the Importance of Human Connection

Being stuck in lockdown for months here in Melbourne has drastically changed the way I live. Being unemployed during this time has meant that other than the weekly grocery shop, I have had no real reason to leave the house. It’s been a difficult time mentally, but the thing that has really gotten me through all of this is the numerous weekly or fortnightly D&D and rpg games I play.

Now before the virus interrupted all of our lives drastically, I would go play games in person 4 or 5 times a week. 3 of these were ongoing home campaigns, and the other two were Adventurers League tables. I love both of them for different reasons. Personally, I prefer the longer story format of a home campaign. Getting to develop a deep and intricate story with other people and to role play out the development of one character is amazing to me.

But Adventurers League also has a special place in my heart because it was how I came to be a part of the D&D community. It’s a great opportunity to try out a vast number of different character ideas and classes, and to get a better understanding of the range the game has. However, AL has always been more about the people for me.

The Melbourne Adventurers League community at Arcanacon 2020

Having the opportunity to meet with a whole group of people with similar interests is priceless. All of the friends I’ve made in this city and who I now play my home games with were all people that I met at AL. Of course, with a large group of diverse people there will always be someone you don’t get along with. And so I simply chose to play on different tables, as did anyone else within the community who had a similar issue.

The AL community here in Melbourne always had a few games going on in discord. Some people prefer to play online, and some prefer in person. Neither one is really better, it’s just a matter of what you’re comfortable with, what you value more and how you like to play. Online games are also often more easily able to fit into schedules, as they aren’t limited to the opening times of games stores.

When in person games were suspended, and all the games moved online, I simply didn’t have the mental energy to put towards games that were not a part of an ongoing campaign. At this point I was playing in 4 ongoing campaigns and it used all of my social battery just to do that. I’m quite an introverted person and so I didn’t think the restrictions would truly affect me much.

I’ve discovered though, that real human interaction is something I desperately need. In almost all the campaigns I play in over discord, we play with video on. I cannot tell you how much of a difference it makes being able to see peoples facial expressions when they are talking. To be able to see that there is another living human on the other side of this conversation and not just some disembodied voice. Its the closest I can get to sitting with my friends in this environment and it is so important!

Even more important over these last few months is the way that all the players in these games take time to check up on each other before or after the game. Is someone looking particularly tired? We’ll ask them how their day was. If someone is happier than usual they have a chance to share some good news. With people who will actually listen rather than just getting on social media and yelling into the void.

The title screen for the Avernus campaign that one of my groups played to completion during lockdown

There have been numerous occasions where people simply aren’t up to playing that night. Some nights we will play without one or two players so long as its not plot heavy. But more often than not, that means that anyone else who was still free will jump in the discord to just chat. To hang out with the friends we’ve made, even if it can’t be in person.

Now don’t get me wrong, you could have an awesomely close friend group who catches up online like this all the time. I find though, that it is so much easier for that to lapse, for it to be put off, for life to get busy or things to get in the way and then next thing you know you haven’t spoken in 3 months.

The best thing about D&D is its structure. You make an agreement with a number of people to show up. And then you do because the group is counting on you to be their healer, to be the face of the party, the meat shield or the spell caster, or most importantly the GM. You show up because on some level you know that you specifically are NEEDED in some capacity. And that more than anything lets you develop a stronger bond with the group as a whole.

In this way, the long Melbourne lockdown has enabled me to learn just how important my friends are to me. I love D&D for sure, but I never truly realised that the thing I loved most about it is the other people sitting with me outside of the game!